“Be grateful for what you have and demand what you deserve.”
-Abby Wambach
The Journey
The Start
Breathe started as a disappointment and a Google. “What is a doula?” I asked the internet after seeing an acquaintance post online about their new career. I had just quite my schooling, I hated my degree and had no idea what I wanted to do. The Google search sounded nice, I could help birthers but not have responsibility of them or their babies lives…a beautiful puddle to splash in rather than diving into the depths of the sea. Immediately I began looking into trainings and how to begin and realized that this puddle I thought I had stepped into was much deeper than imagined, it was more like the sea than I thought. That is when I found Deanna. Deanna had been a doula for over twelve years and decided to take me on. The mentorship was short but impactful, she got me my start. We took trainings together, she built my first website, she believed in me until I could believe in myself. In what turned out to not be a puddle, she was my floaty wings and I will forever be grateful for that. Once I gave birth to my first child at home naturally, something changed within me. I was empowered. I believed in myself. I knew I could run this business and do it well. Apparently, this knowing was enough, Breathe began to take off. But, just as a steady stream of clients began to come in, our wanderlust called us to the great outdoors and a trip around the United States, so we took off. For the eight of the nine months I was pregnant with our second child, we traveled. Finally, a month or so before his birth, we landed in Utah to be with family.
The Now
I have been working hard the last four years to become a midwife in the state of Utah. Upon my graduation from Midwives College of Utah in October 2024, we decided that we would settle down in Utah and stay for good. We purchased our forever home in Mapleton and I am currently working with Teryl Stay at Stay Awhile Midwifery. Occasionally I will take repeat doula clients, but for the most part I am only taking on midwifery clients.
With all of my new found spare time from school work, I find myself creating art, enjoying nature and traveling with my family as much as possible, and working on my apothecary side of the business. I feel so much gratitude for being able to continue to work with my friend and preceptor Teryl Stay, it is such a fun time and something I feel passionate about. My family is loving the benefit of me being home more often and much less busy, it is a win/win all around.
The Future
My future has a lot of these cute kiddos in it. They have been a huge part of this journey and I am so grateful for the role they play in it. They are the smiling faces I come home to after a long birth, the drive I have to show them what a strong woman and mother can look like, the joy that fills my heart to the brim. In my future will continue to be a midwife. I imagine my hair slowly turning grey and these hands continuing to help babies come into the world. There are many directions Breathe Birth Care and my journey as the owner might go on. One thing I know for sure is that I want affordable care for all birthers and a sustainable lifestyle for anyone working with Breathe. I hope to one day write a book. I hope to midwife other midwives on their journey into this important role. I hope to donate births and money to low-income birthers and their families or midwives and doulas who will make a difference in the birth world. I hope to be a change maker in making the labor room a safer space for Black birthers, in making homebirth and out-of-hospital birth more affordable and covered by insurance, in creating safe and affirming spaces for all birthers by changing language and patterns we have always used. I hope to be a change maker in the world of childbirth. But, even if I do none of this, even if I am just another midwife on a huge map of incredible midwives. I will make birth more affirming, safe, and affordable for the birthers that I serve. I will teach my children about the power of a parent. My impact will last generations. The future of Breathe and my practice will be many things, but most importantly it is change.
So, what do I do when I am not talking about birth, catching babies, and birthers?
Mainly, I am outdoors adventuring with my little family. If I am not on call, we go to the woods and get out of service always. It is our happy place, it is where we connect with each other while simultaneously disconnecting with the rest of the world. When we were pregnant with our second, we spent 8/9 months traveling in our little teardrop and camping all across the United States. When we had our first, they had been to over 10 waterfalls, on over 50 flights, and on 7 road trips by the time they turned 1. Adventuring is just what we do. As photographers we see the world around us in vivid, bright, color and we can’t help ourselves, we have to be in it.
One of the best ways to get to know me is to read the books I love…
This is my book list of favorite books that I listened to in 2020. I love listening to my books, I do it while I run, get ready for the day, drive, etc. Each book on this list taught me something or brought me something or left me feeling something. Each book on this list has a piece of my heart. I hope you will read them, I hope you will get to know me through them.
My Empowerment through childbirth.
The Birth of Jerusalem Irene.
My first birth was a dream. Everything. Went. Perfectly. The birth of Jerusalem gave me knowledge of my power and an example of how beautiful birth could be. It was the defining moment in my life that propelled me forward and allowed me to dive all into my business and birth work. She continues to be my driving force. Whenever the mom guilt appears I think of her and how she will grow up knowing what a strong woman looks like.
The Birth of Wilder Magnuson.
Wilder’s birth was a bit more wild. He got me admitted to the hospital on two separate occasions. If you know me well, you know that this is my worst nightmare. Everything about his pregnancy and birth brought out my raw emotions and put me in spaces I was very uncomfortable in. Little did I know, it was so that I could grow. As Wilder grew, I grew. Wilder’s birth brought me into discomfort which eventually brought me into growth. This joy you feel from this photograph is the same joy one feels when they have sat in the discomfort and felt all of the feels and made it out on the other side. It is indescribable and blissful. Since Wilder was born he has only ever seen me in a state of growth…now that it has been almost a year, I am beginning to wonder if this growth phase is actually just our new normal.
The birth of Caspian Wolfe
Caspian’s birth was by far my most serene and easy birth. By saying that, I don’t mean to say that there was no difficulty, I do not believe that it would be a birth if it didn’t have its hard moments. But in the end, I got on the ground, her head was born, and then I quickly pulled the rest of her into my arms. I did not hemorrhage or tear like in previous births, she brought peace and childlike joy that I had not felt for a very long time. Her birth was the creation of me as an artist and every day she teaches me to play.
My Why.
The first birth I ever attended I attended as a photographer. The birther spoke broken english but she had a birth plan and felt confident. As she birthed, I watched as nurses and doctors eyes only looked to the machine. As she birthed, I watched as her entire birth plan was ignored. As she birthed I watched them strip her of her power and I felt helpless. After the baby was born they marked it as a successful birth because “Happy mom, happy baby.” I walked away completely horrified! In the weeks that followed I was able to process the birth and what I found was that it lit a fire beneath me. The injustices that take place at births especially for BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ folx needed to end and I wanted to be a part of it. In that moment, I knew, that to make these changes, I would need to one day be a Midwife.
Queer. Joyful. Mama. Strong. Loving. Fierce. Partner. Leader. Confident. Deep. Present. Comfortably Uncomfortable.
Follow Me Personally.
