How to Care for Newborn Twins
So, you are pregnant with twins and trying to figure out how this whole newborn phase will look. We get it! The news of twins can be equally joyful and exciting while also giving you nerves as you try to figure out how you will juggle not one but two newborns. Every feeling you have going on right now is valid. We all know that as adorable as the newborn phase is, it is challenging. There are many things to balance, including other older kids in some circumstances. If you live in the United States, you will likely not have the best maternity or paternity leave, which adds another layer of stress and anxiety. I am not saying all of this to create even more fear, but because it is important to note all of the hiccups that you may run into postpartum so that you can find solutions to help work through them.
For the most part, you will care for your twins in the same way that you would care for any other newborn. It is just double the fun! But because it is double the fun, you also need double the help and double the rest.
My first big tip is to gather your people; if you don’t have people, consider hiring people. Having an extra set of hands to help with diaper changes, feedings, snuggles, and nights will come in handy and can be lifesaving. I know that sounds dramatic, but if a parent is lacking in sleep in significant ways, there is a much higher likelihood of depression setting in. When you have to wake up every 2-3 hours to feed not one but two babies, whether you are nursing or bottle feeding, you are going to be getting a lot less sleep than is good for mental health. Having a night nanny (be it hired or a friend or family member) who can help rock babies to sleep after feedings, bottle feed if that is something you are open to, and allow for you to get some extra rest will help with recovery both physically and mentally.
Having your people show up can also help in other ways. Some of these might include helping with older children, walking dogs, cleaning portions of the house, washing and sanitizing bottles, or simply holding one or two babies while you nap, shower, or sit in bed and chat without a child attached to you. The good news is that most of the time, people want to help. Even though it can feel challenging to ask for help, it is one of the best gifts you can give yourself and those who care deeply about you.
Even though you have two new little souls to care for, your being cared for is equally important. You need rest to heal from childbirth, whether it is a vaginal birth or surgical birth; healing takes time. If you push through the postpartum phases where rest is crucial, you will only delay your burnout for so long. Listen to your body; when it tells you to nap, lie down, put your feet up, etc., Do as it says. Your body is competent and knows how to help heal itself.
Rooming in is another way to improve your rest and make the nights a little bit easier. If your babies are in the room with you, it is much easier to feed them and change their diapers without exerting as much energy. There are copious studies that show how impactful having babies’ rooms can be, and it can be lifesaving against SIDS.
With two babies, utilizing bottles and pacifiers could be helpful. There will be times when both babies are hungry at once. If nursing is your goal, having a pacifier ready to calm one baby while the other nurses can provide more peace and sanity by trying to figure out tandem feeding. If nursing isn’t your goal or is just not happening the way you thought it would, utilizing bottles can be a great way to allow others to help take off some of the load as well as provide an opportunity for you to feed both babies at once if left on your own. I know that giving a baby a binky might not have been a part of your initial plan, but sometimes we need to pivot to save our sanity, and this might be a pivot worth making.
Baby wear! There are times when we need both babies held, and only one adult is around. There are also times when multiple adults can carry babies, but those same adults need to be hands-free. This is where baby-wearing can come in and save the day. Finding a good and solid baby-wearing device that fits well and allows you to go about your typical day, even if your baby feels the need for snuggles, can be a game changer. Sometimes, little ones need extra love or nap better when on a parent or care provider, and if that is the case, then a baby wrap or sling will benefit everyone in the home.
The question is whether to schedule or not to schedule. I typically prefer a non-strict type of schedule. I can veer from something that does not cause more stress than being unscheduled would. It might be a good idea to keep track of how much each baby is peeing and pooping, and eating simply because there are two. It is a good idea to try to link up their eating and napping schedules as much as possible so that everyone in the home gets as much downtime as they physically can. But, even with all of that said, I still highly recommend being flexible and trusting that it is normal for babies to shift and change their routines and schedules frequently in the first few years of life. One app I highly recommend for managing these shifts and changes is “Wonder Weeks,” it tells you all about when your baby is going through developmental leaps and what those might look like. On particularly rough nights, looking at this app and seeing that there is a reason for the difficulty made a massive difference in my mental health.
Through it all, remember to listen to and trust your new babies. Each individual has unique needs that might differ from those of their siblings (identical or not). You can trust your gut to know how to care for these little ones in the same ways you have trusted your gut in the past. Just because there are two littles instead of one does not mean that the game changes drastically; it just might mean you need to bring around a few extra sets of hands and hearts to give the time, attention, and love required for these early days. You’ve got this!
